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‘Twas the Night Before Break – 2022 Edition [Rose-Colored Glasses]

Editor’s note: And now, for our last post of the year, something completely different. 

‘Twas the night before break, Elon was high,
Content marketers worried they’d be replaced by AI.

Inflation persisted, economic signals unclear,
And all hoped that more layoffs wouldn’t soon appear.

All content practitioners climbed into their beds,
While visions of first-party data danced in their heads.

My wife turned on Yellowstone, the remote in her grip.
(I’m so glad she likes me a smidge better than Rip.)

As we settled down to watch, I set down my phone.
We poured some wine. Why not? The fourth quarter was sewn.

Then on my device there arose an explosion –
I thought it must be that TikTok was still open.

But emails poured in so furious and fast,
I couldn’t keep up with the incoming blast.

The subject lines shouted. So many distractions,
And every single one of them a severe overreaction.

Then what to my marketer’s eyes should I see?
All the news about Meta, and Twitter, and ChatGPT.

Predictions of disruptions, recessions, and – worst of all –
Those LinkedIn spam messages asking, “Can you hop on a call?”

And then came a noise so lively and quick,
I closed all my apps – it must be St. Nick!

With a whistle and shout, he rolled up in a … Chevrolet?
He shrugged, “I’m still long on Bitcoin, had to hock the sleigh.”

Then faster than FTX went from billions to bust,
St. Nick whipped open his iPhone 14 and began to adjust.

“Now brand! Now marketing! Now culture and tech!
On ops, on strategy! Check, check, and check!”

He swiped, and he swooped and dramatically smashed Update.
Holiday magic emerged, making all stress evaporate.

He spoke not a word but held a hand to his ear,
Listening as all those distractions disappeared.

Then with a wink and a wave of farewell,
He said, “Remember, it’s your story. Tell it well.”

“Now, wait just a minute,” I cried. “That line is mine!”
He sighed and said, “Sorry, I used generative AI.”

“How about this one,” he tried as he turned to face me,
“I wish you the best in 2023.”

And then he drove off in his red Chevy Bolt,
All gone the anxiety those work distractions evoked.

The future was bright. New plans lay ahead,
And everyone felt courage replace their vague dread.

Then I heard him exclaim, and he yelled with true cheer:
“Happy Holidays to all, and a Happy New Year!”

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Cover image by Joseph Kalinowski/Content Marketing Institute